Melancholy Motherhood

My close friend, Jessica, used the phrase "melancholy motherhood" today, and I found it to be very fitting as I have been feeling a bit sad the past couple of days. My boys are growing up much faster than I want them to, and there is nothing I can do about it. Most days, I don't notice the little changes in them as we are busy about our normal routine. But I have paid more attention lately and am trying hard to burn the memories of them in these moments into my brain so that I will not forget them.

For example, I have discovered what a sponge Eli is. He is no longer our little helpless baby. He is now a walking and talking toddler. In the car yesterday on the way to swim lessons, Caleb and I were telling knock knock jokes. Caleb has recently discovered jokes and has fun creating silly ones to make me laugh. We were taking turns telling jokes when I heard the words "knock knock" come from the back seat and realized they came out of Eli's mouth. Eli's vocabulary is expanding each and every day as he experiments with the new sounds his cute little mouth can make. Some fun ones lately have been bubble, ball ball, and bye. As you can see, Eli has a thing for B words right now. So getting back to knock knock jokes, Eli continued saying knock knock over and over again. When he said it, he would then wait for me to say, "Who's there?" before starting to laugh. He totally understood that the joke was supposed to be funny. So Caleb and I tried teaching him how to tell the rest of a knock knock joke, and would you believe that he got it. I was amazed!


Here is a joke between Eli and I:

Eli - Knock knock.

Mommy - Who's there?

Eli - Boo

Mommy - Boo who?

Eli [in unintelligible baby talk] - Don't cry, Mommy. It's just a joke.

Eli [laughing and smiling after telling his funny joke]


Eli is not the only one around here who is growing up too fast. Today, I looked at Caleb and was amazed at the big boy I saw. He is not my little baby any more. His features have matured, and he has gotten so tall. He cannot wait to be 5 and have his Spider-Man birthday party, which he is already planning even though it is still 122 days away. He also cannot wait to be 6 so that he can start losing teeth to put under his pillow for the tooth fairy. He is busy contemplating who he will marry and how soon he can have kids. He wants to teach his kids everything he knows and plans to share his toys with them. He wants to work with Daddy at his office and plans to live nearby so that we can all have dinner together regularly. His interests are varied and change almost daily. Today he was obsessed with his green army men. Wednesday and Thursday he was obsessed with puppets. Who knows what will capture his imagination tomorrow.

Caleb likes to talk and hold long conversations. He comes up with the funniest things. During a recent conversation, Caleb decided that God was like a witch. We had been discussing how God made things, and I guess that was the easiest way for him to understand God's powers, especially since he knows he cannot see God like he sees people around him. What God does is magical in his eyes, so it made sense to him to think of God as a witch. His understanding of witches is limited to them doing magic, and he thinks that witches can be boys or girls. I love how his mind works and how he tries to make sense of the world around him.

There are many days where I want to pull my hair out, run away, or sell my kids, but I know that one day I will miss these times. I will want to come back to today and relive it all over again. I try to remember that when I am in the trenches dealing with dirty diapers, whining, screaming, crying, and so on. I must treasure these times! And so I will write them down to look back at. And I will sing along with Trace Adkins


You're gonna miss this.

You're gonna want this back.

You're gonna wish these days

Hadn't gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a good look around.

You may not know it now,

But you're gonna miss this.